This is the time of year when we tend to get together with folks that we haven't seen for the preceding 11 months, or even longer. And living through "The Age of Covid" - a time that brings uncharted perspectives on separation and reconnection which we've never experienced before - there are some people in my life (important people) that I haven't seen for over three years. As a matter of fact, and germane to this conversation, there are some people that I haven't seen since before I was diagnosed with cancer.
Everyone has a different impression of what a person with cancer would look like. They could be gaunt from the weight-loss of chemo or the pure ravages of the disease. They could be bald or otherwise rocking a dramatically different do; mine is now actually more red than before MM (technically less white) and is both straight and soft - neither of which were the case before. They could not look any different than before their diagnosis, yet another aspect of my overall good fortune which aptly describes my current condition as: happy, healthy and hearty.
But realistically, not knowing how my MM has affected my body and beauty after 12 months or longer, old friends whom I am about to re-rendezvous with could understandably wonder "who knows what he's going to look like?" I am sensitive to the fact that this may cross their mind, and comfortable in the knowledge that they will be pleasantly surprised to see it's still me. People living with cancer often comment about how they don't want their disease to define them in the eyes of others (I share this point of view). And as much as we wish it weren't so, our looks are an overall (albeit hopefully minor) part of how people "see" us.
So, to remove one more element of uncertainty or discomfort in the initial conversation about my cancer, any holiday or future F2F meeting will at least not be encumbered by my physical appearance (which is a true reflection of the quality of my condition). Nor will the get together be burdened by any inhibitions on my part to share my story or answer any questions necessary to ease their mind. Can't wait to see you see me.
